[Ezekiel]

4-year-old toddler

?? Kind of old to be a toddler you think? Head Start victim?

[Tax-chick]

I was just discussing the concept of “toddler” with my boys yesterday. It was a fine exercise in category development.

“Kathleen is a toddler.”
“No, she isn’t. She’s 3! That means she’s a preschooler.”
“But we don’t go to school.”
*long pause*
“Well, she’s a 3-year-old. They’re not toddlers.”
Frank: “Eli’s brother is a toddler.”
Loud scoffing and derision. (Eli’s brother is 8 weeks old.)
Kathleen: “I’m not a baby. I’m a girl!”
All: “You’re a baby unless you use the toilet.”
Kathleen: “TOOOOOOOOOOM!”
Tom: “All of you KNOCK IT OFF!”

We agreed that a child is past “toddler” when he is 2, unless he’s physically impaired.