Re: “Everyone of us would probably react as this father did - I know some on here have lots of bitterness in their hearts, but we must forgive those = and, yes those who don’t ask for it. In doing so no root of bitterness springs up in US - it’s for OUR benefit. God will deal with the perps.”
I hear what you are saying and I have been taught/heard the same view about forgiveness countless times in my church and from other Chtistians. But, my study of the scriptures does not demonstrate to me that forgiveness works this way. - at least in my understanding of what the scriptures teach. I ask that you hear me out.
Yes, Jesus and Stephen both asked God to forgive those who were killing them - an act of God given graciousness on their part that only God can give us. And, you are right that we are to pray for those who abuse and persecute us, to even be willing to “bless them and not curse” - but, that is still not forgiveness.
The more apropos example is the 70 times 70 passage. Jesus teaches us to forgive every time someone asks, just as God has forgiven us so much. Here’s the crucial point - and this applies to human forgiveness and God-given forgiveness- confession, repentance, and requesting forgiveness precedes real forgiveness. Without that, there is no real forgiveness possible. Forgiveness is restoration of a relationship between us and another person who has wronged us or we wronged them..
When it comes to forgiveness from God - If we do not repent and ask God’s forgiveness - in our pre-salvation state - we are not forgiven. We face His judgment.
God does not ask us to do something that He doesn’t do Homself. God is always WILLING to forgive, and He expects us to also to do the same.
But, true, restoration/forgiveness cannot take place until it is requested by the one who wronged the other.
On the other hand, we CAN and MUST, even though true forgiveness may never happen between us and the one who wronged us, we can let go of that anger and hurt that we received unjustly, we can let go of our animosity toward the one who wronged us - we can “release” our claim of being wronged to God, and leave it with Him. Otherwise, we will have a “root of bitterness” grow inside us. And, of course, this is not want God wants us to be.
Someone might say, well how is that different from forgiveness. Aren’t we just speaking in semantics? No, I don’t think so, because from God’s own example, though He is willing to forgive, true forgiveness doesn’t happen until we turn to Him, or to those we have wronged, and confess what we did, repent of what we did, and ask forgiveness. Then and only then can real forgiveness take place.
I don’t mean that we as humans can forgive other people’s sins - we cannot - only God can forgive sins - but, we can not let anger, and bitterness grow up within our own hearts for the wrongs done to us. Our telling someone we forgive them, doesn’t resolve their issues with God - they must all seek His forgiveness for sin - It just means that we don’t hold any hard feelings toward the person who wronged us - not that we can absolve their sins.