A young male mountain lion was spotted in a tree by a farmer. That was historic. No mountain lion had been seen in Kentucky since before the Civil War. Over 150 years ago.
The farmer called Kentucky Fish and Wildlife. An officer responded and decided it would be best to dispatch the animal, so he shot it. Dead. Out of the tree.
It was a healthy young male.
* * * * *
Officer Clem.
Skeeter.
Looks like a painter in that there tree, Officer Clem.
Yep, Skeeter, looks like a painter.
My great-great-great-great grandpaw Zeke done shot one near the old Parkswell scuppernong vines in the summer of ’49, before the Late Unpleasantry. The family done et it.
Et it?
Yep. Waste not, want not. Said it tasted like possum.
Ya don’t say.
Yep.
Reckon I oughta 'spatch him.
Yep.
BANG!
Thud.
How’s the wife and young-uns?
Jes fine, Officer Clem.
Little Skeeter’s a fine fullback. He still dating that youngest Johnson girl?
Yes, sir.
Well, you tell him I said he better not let her go. She comes from a fine family and she makes a good blueberry pie. I et a slice a hers at the county fair last summer. And looks ain’t everything, God bless her. That good eye’s awful purty.
I’ll tell him, but he’s dumber than a barrel of hammers.
Apple don’t fall far, Skeeter. Say, I have three rounds left. You got any dogs around here?
No sir, Officer. You sure that painter's dead?
Either that, or he's pining for the Licking.
Yep. Say, you wanna join us for supper? We’d be honored.
[Eyeing dead mountain lion] I reckon I might, Skeeter. That Becky of your’n makes a fine mess ‘o vittles.
I wonder if some state wildlife agencies have an obligation to shoot mountain lions if reported and seen in urban or suburban areas. So that when someone says something, like, “We saw a mountain lion over at...!” the rangers just say, “Naw, it was a bobcat. Mountain lions are extinct in this state.” just to save themselves the trouble of officially doing something about it—and to allow them a chance to repopulate.
I’m probably giving them too much credit, though.