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The "guy" is obviously not exclusively gay: if he were, he couldn't have performed sexually with his wife and fathered two children with her.

You may not be aware of this, but lots of gay guys have fathered children with women. The rest of your comment is pointless because you're apparently not aware of that possibility. I'll also point out that -- remarkably -- there's no allegation of infidelity, although infidelity is pretty common in marriages of all kinds. He simply divorced her. Almost certainly a better outcome than the alternative. I wish many cheating straight men and women would have the decency to divorce their spouses instead of cheating on them.

"You may not be aware of this, but lots of gay guys have fathered children with women."

I do know that, and thanks for bringing it up because that is in fact my larger point.

The preference and orientation schema is, I think, largely bogus. We are a heterosexual species, tout court.

There are, of course, shifting vagaries of desire. A man may fancy his wife, or he may think he really fancies his stepdaughters. Both of them. He may think he'd rather re-connect with his old choom gang buddy. He may like the gal on the video screen a whole lot more than the woman he married. He may be thrlled with a guy at the gym whoi looks like Michelangelo's David and quite tepid toward the mother of his three children.

It doesn't matter.

He may be satisfied in the role of decent husband for 10 years, but be convinced that he'd be a lot MORE satisfied as the faithful "husband" of another man for two months, then satisfied tomcatting around with Queer and Questioning boys with long silky hair for a couple of years, then get a slew of but-stills and what-ifs and want what he used to have with his wife again.

It doesn't matter.

What matters is that in marriage, in giving himself to one wife, he gave himself to one future --- a future with her --- and forsook all other potential futures. What's what the marriage vow means.

He could have been her faithful husband, as he promised. He decided to hell with the promise.

The problem is not that he's "gay." The problem is not that she married a "gay." What is "gay," anyway? She married a man, pure and simple.

The problem is that he is a selfish liar and a cheat. He wronged the woman he gave his life to, got out of his sacred covenant a lot easier than a person could get out of a military service contract or a 20-year mortgage, and his friend Alter Kaker is saying "That's all right, it's her fault for marrying you."