Posted on 09/28/2014 10:56:51 AM PDT by Bubba Ho-Tep
Joseph Andrey was 5 years old in 1927 when his impoverished mother sold him to the manager of a popular vaudeville act. He was 91 last year when he told the story again, propped in a wheelchair in the rehabilitation unit of a nursing home where it seemed as though age and infirmity had put a different kind of price on his head.
Craning his neck, he sought the eyes of his daughter, Maureen Stefanides, who had promised to get him out of this place. “I want to go home, to my books and my music,” he said, his voice whispery but intense.
He was still her handsome father, the song-and-dance man of her childhood, with a full head of wavy hair and blue eyes that lit up when he talked. But he was gaunt now, warped like a weathered plank, perhaps by late effects of an old stroke, certainly by muscle atrophy and bad circulation in his legs.
Now she was determined to fulfill her father’s dearest wish, the wish so common among frail, elderly people: to die at home.
(Excerpt) Read more at nytimes.com ...
This is a good article. The truth is probably even worse than the article tells.
Once they have their hooks in you, its tough to get loose.
I am going through this now with a close friend of the family.
I visited the other day. He was weaker than he has been recently, but he was sitting up in his chair, talking with all of us, and in generally good spirits.
He is at home, with hospice care workers coming in every day to assist.
We don’t know exactly when the end will come, but, the family feels he is getting excellent care from the hospice, and appreciate that he is at home, not off in a nursing home. I’m sure he also takes comfort in being in his own home as the end approaches.
This rings close to home. My mom died last week. If a nursing home could have helped her, she would have wanted it. But there was no magic pill there and she wanted to stay in her home. Medicare approved 25 hours of home health care which was really helpful. But after 2 weeks, she needed hospice and the 25 hours were no longer approved. Didn’t make sense, but she died 2 days into hospice so that battle was over. Yes, people are living longer, but it seems we can prolong the end of life which is often painful, expensive and heartbreaking. She may have lived a little longer in a home, gasping for every breath. I have no answers, just a broken heart
My deepest condolences on the passing of your mother.
I’m sure everyone in the Free Republic family will also offer condolences.
God bless you and yours. May the Lord give you peace.
Prayers are up for you and your family, that Jesus would be the source of your comfort and strength in this time.
I feel for you, as best I can anyway. I am a BLESSED man. At 53 I still have both sets of parents with me here. But time rolls and age advances. Sooner or later, we all take our turns losing those we love. And then we take our turn being the one our loved ones lose.
So, I would extend to you the Love of Christ, hoping you turn to Him in this time of grief.
Been there twice in the last five years with people I dearly love and miss.
May God give you His Peace and heal your heart.
Prayers are up for you and your family, that Jesus would be the source of your comfort and strength in this time.
I feel for you, as best I can anyway. I am a BLESSED man. At 53 I still have both sets of parents with me here. But time rolls and age advances. Sooner or later, we all take our turns losing those we love. And then we take our turn being the one our loved ones lose.
So, I would extend to you the Love of Christ, hoping you turn to Him in this time of grief.
Apologies Dilbert, responded to your post rather than kdots.
Thank you for the prayers and support. We are praying daily as we go through this difficult time.
Those of us who have lost parents under similar circumstances understand completely. Please accept our sincere condolences.
It is so weird... what with Obamacare drooling to save what it can by encouraging people to die early, others wishing nothing but normal care (which would include feeding and liquids till the end) can’t give up their nursing home rooms.
Where is any sense of sanity and balance.
Thank you for the kind words and prayers. I sincerely appreciate your understanding. This is the hardest moment of my life.
Something we should be aware of is the “Mexican alternative”, that is for the elderly and infirm patient to be moved to one of the American communities just south of the border.
There are both retirement and nursing homes there, and many are top notch, created and run by Americans, for Americans, but with many advantages:
1) Good security. Only authorized people allowed in.
2) Very good Doctor/Nurse/caregiver to patient ratio. Often an American doctor, English speaking Mexican nurses and assistants.
3) Surgery and US manufactured medicine at half the price or less.
In the retirement area, homes are cleaned, meals are prepared, laundry is done, even landscaping. In the nursing care area the emphasis is on natural end of life without pain.
Hidden benefits are that the person is out of the US legal environment, so is not easy prey for predators. Mexico is actually top-heavy with trained medical personnel who speak English.
Culturally, elderly people in Mexico pass away while still being cared for by their families, so there is a much higher level of respect for the elderly than in the US.
So very, very sorry for the loss of your Mom. God bless you for arranging for the home care of your Mom. I understand your broken heart. My Mom passed several years ago but the hole in my heart will remain forever. My Mom was in the hospital and she knew the end was near. She wanted to go home. I brought her home and, like you, arranged for hospice help. God bless the people who work at Hospice. My Mom died 3 days after getting home. I’m so grateful to God that she was home until HE took her hand and brought her to peace in her eternal home. I hope you can find some comfort in knowing your Mom is at peace and that you helped grant her last wishes.
Went to see my dad the day before he was to be released to me...he told me that the intern came in an said his doctor had ordered a blood transfusion and he didn't want one, but since his doctor ordered it, the hospital was going to give it to him....I went to the nurses station and ask to talk with the idiot that was trying to force a blood transfusion on my father....he replied ....you don't understand, his doctor ordered it......I told him ..NO you don't understand, he is refusing the transfusion....Like I said, you have to learn to talk to these people....
Being a patient advocate means your really in charge, but you don't know it and the doctors like it that way...
I am so sorry to hear about your mother. You have my prayers.
Thank you, so much, for your kind words. You were an angel for your Mom, too, and I am sure you understand. She couldn’t breathe and nothing on earth could help her. I agree she is in a better place, but it is still the hardest moment of my life.
Thank you, lupie.
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.