“There isn’t a lamppost in the entirety of norkland that could hold him..”:
You may be correct. Are we talking about the lack of lampposts in NK or weight limitations? We could hire a butcher to slice 200 lbs, off the pig and hang him from a broomstick suspended by coathangers on a porch.
Hey, whatever. A dead commie is a dead commie, and that’s a good thing.
Weight restrictions on the few posts that do exist would require a weight reduction prior to decorating with a commie piñata.