Posted on 09/23/2014 5:34:04 PM PDT by NCjim
But, it's also gratifying as I know many of these types of women. They deserve it.
This is the key point here. She's upset that successful 30-something guys (the only guys she thinks are good enough for her) are going for 20-something women to marry and bear their children.
News-flash honey: given the option, guys tend to want healthy, fit women with their prime child-bearing years ahead of them, not behind them. Your career is not as important to them as whether you are enjoyable company.
As you pass 30, a woman's options shrink. Prince Charming is going to look for the nicest girl he can catch.
In the marriage market place, as in the job market and other scenarios, your choices are limited to the those who do not have better options than you. Recognize that before your market value drops further.
For a one-night stand, that makes sense.
For a long-term relationship, you get to teach the young woman how to do it the way you want, and don't have to un-teach all the things their prior 23 boyfriends taught them.
The problem is, you just KNOW she will not be satisfied with anyone not model-handsome or not making a high-six-figure income.
I told my daughter: "Find your husband before 25, when your market value is at its highest". Amazingly, she took my advice.
Dennis Prager has an hour long segment on his program every week called the Male Female hour where he talks about and fields calls about relationships.
One of the topics that gets covered sometimes (and can be heard in a bumper audio snippet, I think from Spencer Tracy) is along the lines "I'm looking for a partner, not a competitor, competitor!"
She's a former model and between the blase reaction from the homosexuals in the industry, the cattiness from the women in the industry, and the lecherousness from the heterosexual men in the industry, she probably has a warped (or at least niche) view of the world.
Maybe she had some unrealistic perceptions/expectations.
She said they had 3 dates (non-sexual) before she got worried that she was losing him. Were they already going "steady"
Would she be jealous of the woman at the next table interviewing him for 5 minutes if they were at a "speed dating" event and talked earlier in the evening?
I know a friend who was talking to a girl through a free dating site. She was enthusiastic and sounded like they were a real good match (they'd talked online but hadn't met). I don't recall if he delayed a day in responding to a meetup request or if he already had plans (say an event ticket, concert, etc.). Within a day she said she was already seeing someone else (agains, STEADY? EXCLUSIVE?). This isn't playing the field, this is being non-committal until at least you've personally met one on one.
Would anyone unemployed tell all other prospective employers, I'm sorry I can't interview with you right now, I'm waiting for a call back to see someone else?
From reading of historical novels, it seemed that, before a century ago, a girl could have multiple men competing for her hand at the same time. There would be no sex until marriage, and no exclusivity until engagement.
The above seems like a good way to arrange things. A girl would get a realistic idea of her choices, and could pick whoever seemed most agreeable.
These days, a woman will get dated by men who have no intention of marriage. She will get a very unrealistic idea of her "marriage market value" because she gets dates from men who are out of her league, but are willing to take her out when they don't have anybody better to sleep with that night, and who have no interest in being exclusively hers.
I thought I would be going out on a limb, saying marriage is only for the children. And you said it. It's true. If not for children, then it had better be true love that's lasting. If both the man and woman don't want children, then the motive is often financial security and not true love, not a solid foundation for staying together. The people I know who are marrying while old are each financially secure. Others I know who are not, carp about each other.
We got married young; my wife was 21 and I was 23, this after we went steady four years. We were both poor but knew we wanted children. Been together 44 years and enjoy our grandchildren. Best thing was marrying young - and wanting kids.
There is a lot to digest there. I digested it.
That goes the other way too (girlfriend rather than wife). I think consciously or subconsciously people quit trying and stop courting after marriage. Not all, but enough.
I’m not faulting the man for playing the field. Men think they can get away with it and that is part of my point. They can get away with it as long as women have so little respect for themselves that they give their bodies away for free. If men knew they could not count on getting their way so easily, they would be a lot more attentive.
I do have a problem with the amount of time this woman spent listening to that fellow wax on about how wonderful he feels this other girl he currently dating happens to be. Why should she discuss anything about that girl with him? If he likes her so much, let him have her. He’s obviously a waste of her time. If she had any respect for herself, she’d see that and just hang up the phone.
Life goes on.
Archie and Reggie would both fight over the possibility of going out with Veronica (who gladly played them off one another).
Hopefully, if the potential employers had gotten back to you, they wouldn’t have spent their time bragging about how much better the person they actually hired was compared to you and you wouldn’t have wasted time discussing the matter with them.
Just a ‘Thank you for letting me know the position has been filled.’ /end of call
I get rejection notices from the people who never interview me. The others just kinda fade out. And I do reconnect to them. Maybe on occasion they respond but not often.
And yeah, if he moved on, he doesn’t need to go into detail about his next find.
She runs a blog about people dating (which has been turned into a book which has been optioned for a film or tv show). She needs to focus on her own relationship and not exploit it. Who wants to date the girl who’s writing her own Sex In The City column?
Congratulations; I married at 25 and our children are too young to be parents yet. If people don’t want children that is their choice; I think the older people I know that are getting married just don’t want to be alone (and that’s their choice).
I couldn’t imagine having kids later in life (with midnight feedings and such); definitely a younger person’s job...
The man in the story: I would run over you if I were looking for a man, because CHARACTER you do not have, and if you are like the man in the story, you too.
Thankfully, I married a man with an honorable character and will remain with him until the end of whichever life goes first. Love and romance is not about looks, that is only lust. No doubt the man will end up impotent since less than beautiful turns him on. What beautiful girl wants an impotent old balding man who only has money.
Sadly, the man in the story’s money could disappear easily through bad investments or theft in a flash. The woman is better off without him at any age....and should look for a man who actually thinks with his brain and not his penis.
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