I have had success with hundreds of children whose parents said they were out of control or wouldn’t listen. How did you administer time outs? Were you obviously angry? Did you determine the length of time out or did the child? Were your expectations totally clear and confirmed by the child? If you’re totally clear about what behaviors are expected and which will receive your attention time outs work every time.
One of my favorite videos shows a mom telling her young son not to ride his tricycle to the corner. He does it repeatedly despite being told not to go to the corner. Eventually the mom is about to whack him when he asks, “Mommy, what’s a corner?”
I’ve never needed to punish a child with hitting of any kind. Sometimes a child needs to be stopped physically, but only by using the minimum necessary force. I’m thinking of when their action will lead directly to serious injury or death.
I see. Let’s just open up all the prisons and give the inmates warning tickets. Never need to use anything more than time outs. If the inmates continue to commit crime, it must be because they just don’t understand. /s
Many instances of children misbehaving are simply out of rebellion to legitimate authority. When the authority manifests it is impotent, there is no enforcement of the law.
“I have had success with hundreds of children whose parents said they were out of control or wouldn’t listen.”
Unless you’ve been very busy in the bedroom, you have not raised hundreds of kids as a parent. The role of a parent is very different from a teacher. The same rules do not apply.
“I’ve never needed to punish a child with hitting of any kind.”
I have. Kids like and need clear rules, and to know they are not in control. Like a horse, they thrive when the know someone tougher than them is taking care of life and protecting them. That is when they are safe to enjoy life.
You can try talking to two year olds if you wish. I’ve met some who would respond to talk. Many more do not. Horses for courses, and choose the discipline that works with your individual child.
We never found the need to hit our kids, either.