Posted on 09/11/2014 11:07:52 AM PDT by wagglebee
Once the Lord began pressing on my heart to have our kids involved with our pro-life ministry, I knew it was only a matter of time before I had to confess my deepest, darkest secret to them.
It was hard telling family and friends, because deep inside you still fear their judgment and disappointment. I know Christ has forgiven me, healed me and made me new. I don’t worry any longer about what others think of my past, but I have feared looking into my children’s eyes and seeing the hurt and confusion of why their mommy killed her baby.
For the last few years, we’ve taken them to the abortion clinic to pray and told them what abortion was. Very simply we stated that it’s when a mommy chooses to have her baby taken from her tummy before it’s time, and the baby dies.
This has always hurt their sweet, sensitive hearts, but it’s driven them to pray for an end to abortion even at such a tender age. Any time they’ve had questions we’ve answered them in the simplest, most appropriate way for their maturity.
God has told me I need to stand outside our local abortion clinic with a sign that says, “I regret my abortion.” I haven’t been able to do that with them around because Brady can read. So yesterday I sat them down and confessed to them.
I told them something very bad happened to mommy and I got pregnant at 18. I was scared, confused and—even though I knew it was wrong—I had an abortion.
Brady told me he was surprised, but he wasn’t mad at me. Rylan was excited to learn that he was named after his big brother Joshua. They asked a few questions like, “Where would Joshua sleep if he were alive?” “Would you homeschool him or would he go to high school?”
It made me giggle and brought me comfort, but I told them we can’t focus on the “what ifs” because they can end up making us depressed or angry and they don’t change the past.
Instead we will focus on Christ. He’s redeemed mommy and He’s called us to speak the truth about abortion and to help others come to know the saving grace of Jesus.
Then Rylan looked right at me and exclaimed, “We will see Joshua in Heaven!” To which Brady responded, “Yes! Because he’s safe with God!”
I asked them if they forgave me and Brady so gently answered, “I’ll always forgive you for anything.” And my heart beamed as my tears flowed.
It wasn’t nearly as hard as I imagined it would be. I’m glad I told them now rather than waiting until they were teenagers. They know they can always ask me questions and we don’t have to keep Joshua a secret. He is real. He exists. He is loved!
Sunday is the 16-year anniversary of my abortion and it’s sad and weird to think I would be getting ready to take him to get his driver’s license! I will always miss and grieve him. Joshua is as much a part of my life as his four siblings.
I don’t have to let depression and self-hate eat me up. I can cry out to Jesus when missing Joshua hurts too bad; I can hold my head up high, talk about my son and give his life honor. I can do this only because of Jesus and the redeeming Blood He shed for my sins.
LifeNews Note: Ashley Sigrest is the author of My Jesus Journey, an inspirational blog about living a Christian life, and a friend of Bound4LIFE, where this article originally appeared.
A very good answer to my question but I would counter with my own scepticism of this woman's alleged conversion and her asking for forgivness and believing she is being given it....
Has she done it and publicized it simply to relieve her own guilt or does she truly believe she will be forgiven?
I don't know, but I have a hard time believing that God or Christ would forgive anyone for killing their own child.........
As for that same forgiveness, I also can't understand how God can stand back and watch any indvidual torture or murder an innocent child while the bible simply says that God gave us free well to do what we want even if it means rejecting his word.
Children are innocent and yet God allows them to be victims of whatever attrocity mankind can do to them.......
IT JUST DOESN'T MAKE ANY SENSE..........
IT JUST DOESN'T MAKE ANY SENSE
No, not according to human judgment it doesn't. Our Lord took upon Himself ALL of our sins: mine, yours, even Ashley Sigrest's. Speaking for myself only, I would be the basest of hypocrites if I presumed to ask God's forgiveness for my sins (for which HE suffered and died) but then turned and suggested that He couldn't or shouldn't forgive somebody else's sins. Maybe when I have taken the sins of the whole world upon my shoulders, and suffered and died for them, I'll have standing to question God's Judgement and God's Mercy. Since that's impossible, I'll just thank Him and pray for my fellow sinners.
I would counter with my own scepticism of this woman's alleged conversion
There's your problem, right there. I hope you see it.
Whenever I ponder God’s forgiveness, I think of King David in the Old Testament. Now keep in mind that David was described as having a “heart for God”, and yet he committed some terrible sins.
At one point, he was confronted by the prophet Nathan who told him the story of a powerful man who had horribly abused a man of lower station. By the end of the story, David was incensed - “this man deserves to die!!”. To which Nathan replied: “YOU are the man”.
And David was broken, and he was humbled, and he suffered the consequences of his sin - even though he was forgiven.
My point is that we’ll never truly know if someone is sincerely sorry. We can get a clue however if we get a sense of their “brokenness”; are they humbled? are they contrite? Only God know.
I would encourage you to read from the Bible, 2 Samuel chapters 11 & 12. Then read Psalm 51: David’s prayer or “song” of repentance. In Psalm 51 we get a sense of what a contrite heart “looks” like.
Finally, the hard question: why? Why does God allow evil? First and foremost, we must have - as a foundation - the firm conviction that God is GOOD. If we misunderstand this, we’ll fail at comprehending everything else.
As to the “why”, I commend to you the following message from a man I greatly respect:
http://www.desiringgod.org/conference-messages/where-is-god-ucf
Even children can sin
THIS is my problem and for the life of me I can't understand how you can possibly believe that a fetus or 1 or 2 or 3 year old child can commit sin..........
This post and the sculpture bring sighs and tears. Bless this woman for allowing the Holy Spirit to help her turn her shame and grief into a testimony to help others.
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