I am reminded of the "Nose" speech from Cyrano de Bergerac.
Let’s start with...
Obvious: ‘scuse me, is that your nose or did a bus park on your face?
Meteorological: everybody take cover, she’s going to blow!
Fashionable: you know, you could de-emphasize your nose if you wore something larger, like... Wyoming.
Personal: well, here we are, just the three of us.
Punctual: all right, Delbman, your nose was on time but YOU were fifteen minutes late!
Envious: Ooooh, I wish I were you! Gosh, to be able to smell your own ear!
Naughty: uh, pardon me, sir, some of the ladies have asked if you wouldn’t mind putting that thing away.
Philosophical: you know, it’s not the size of a nose that’s important, it’s what’s IN IT that matters.
Humorous: laugh and the world laughs with you. Sneeze, and it’s goodbye, Seattle!
Commercial: hi, I’m Earl Scheib, and I can paint that nose for $39.95!
Polite: uh, would you mind not bobbing your head? The, uh, orchestra keeps changing tempo.
Melodic: Everybody. He’s got...
Everyone: [singing] The whole world in his nose!
Sympathetic: aw, what happened? Did your parents lose a bet with God?
Complimentary: you must love the little birdies to give them this to perch on.
Scientific: Say, does that thing there influence the tides?
Obscure: whoa! I’d hate to see the grindstone. Well, think about it.
Inquiring: when you stop to smell the flowers, are they afraid?
French: saihr, ze pigs have refused to find any more truffles until you leave!
Pornographic: finally, a man who can satisfy two women at once!
Religious: the Lord giveth... and He just kept on giving, didn’t He?
Disgusting: Say, who mows your nose hair?
Paranoid: keep that guy away from my cocaine!
Aromatic: it must wonderful to wake up in the morning and smell the coffee... in Brazil.
Appreciative: Oooh, how original! Most people just have their teeth capped.
Dirty: your name wouldn’t be Dick, would it?