I’m a 5’8” male. I enjoy shooting my S&W Model 29 in 44 magnum, but I cannot shoot it worth squat double action because the gun is too big for my hand. Single action brings the trigger back to where I can hold the gun properly.
My DIL is 4’11” and weighs 100 lbs. She shoots a J-frame OK, but cannot handle a larger gun.
It isn’t the recoil, but the fit.
Concur on fit being the main issue. No one can hit crap with a shotgun that has a pull that is 1” too long. Recoil is a factor in practice. I never noticed anything resembling recoil from my .444 when hunting, but 10 rds at the range is uncomfortable.
My original point was that the problem with selecting a great pistol/cartridge combo is going to be the need to have women qualify with it. They didn’t used to accept men that were that short, for the same reasons.