" I’m not saying it’s fair..."
You're evading the question, which sort-of tells me your answer, but I'll ask again, slightly differently:
If a man feels himself humiliated by a woman's treatment of him, and he decides to ruin the woman's life in retaliation, would you similarly say she's a "loser" for having done something to upset him?
Or does it only work in one direction in your world?
It pisses me off that women get a free pass to do stuff like that.
As another example, watch Cardie Underwood's video "Before He Cheats", where she destroys the guy's vehicle, and judge what your reaction would be were the sexes reversed and a guy made a music video about wrecking the car of his cheating girlfriend. You think the video would be popular? Or would the guy be banned from ever working in the music industry again?