Ohio is bland. Rather like Ohio. Oklahoma needs to just go to nursing school. Oregon is kind of horsey. Pennsylvania looks like a short, meaty Christie Brinkley.
Rhode Island looks like the kind of waitress who slams your plate down in front of you and stares at you like "You got something to say?"
Damn, South Carolina is WALL-EYED! I mean like she can look at you and the menu at the same time. South Dakota looks like a nervous 35 year old missionary.
Tennessee looks extremely controlled. Might be unstable. Texas has a strangely flat face somehow. Can't explain it. Utah is terribly cute. She'll be a good Fox Anchorwoman some day.
Vermont is a muppet. Virginia looks like she has an IQ in the Forrest Gump range. Probably not, but she LOOKS like it.
Washington. No, no... back to the truck stop, hon. West Virginia is smiling like "Three more payments and these boobs are mine!!"
Wisconsin looks like she's already made some arrangements with certain judges. Just get me that recording contact, mister... Wyoming couldn't afford caps on her teeth so she just glued a set of dentures in front of her real teeth...
Okay, well, that was fun!