Posted on 05/15/2014 7:18:53 AM PDT by Lazamataz
Harry Reid has always been obstinant and churlish, but in recent weeks, we can add the descriptors 'disturbingly obsessed'.
The target of Reid's Orwellian Five Minute Hates are the Koch Brothers -- in particular, Charles G. and David H. Koch. The Koch's are an inoffensive pair of brothers who contribute, legally, to conservative and libertarian causes. This appears to enrage Mr. Reid, as evidenced by his continuing rants about these two people from the Senate Floor. in the last year, Reid obsessively derided these two American citizens, as evidenced in the following news stories:
In the real world -- the world you and I live in -- we would be arrested and charged with Criminal Stalking or some other form of Harassment, if we did one-tenth of the things Reid has done to the Kochs.
It appears that lawmakers do not need to live by the rules we live by, so, in the spirit of attempting to take some of the burden of Koch Blaming, I submit this to Harry Reid. Perhaps it will save him some work:
Dear Harry Reid,I noted you hadn't condemned the Koch Brothers this morning. I thought maybe you were getting 'writers block' and could not think of anything to blame them for today. In the interests of being a bi-partisan, helpful citizen, I offer you these:Love,
The Koch Brothers cause global warming, infanticide, glacial formation, the sinking of the Titanic, the crucifixion of Jesus Christ, and fire ants. The Koch Brothers are the cause of late mail, lack of adequate punctuation, the heartbreak of psoriasis, and feminine itching. The Koch Brothers are the cause of fixed greyhound races, the metric system, errors in longitudinal measurements, and smaller portions. The Koch Brothers are the cause of angry wives, Speedos on fat people, mismatched socks, and mold on cucumbers. The Koch Brothers are the cause of the Zombie Apocalypse, interstellar planetary collisions, muteness in albinos, and killer bees. The Koch Brothers are the cause of gingivitis, off-key chorus singing, air inversions, and incremental floods. The Koch Brothers are the cause of fans that quit, entropy, soap shards in the shower, and fat girls. The Koch Brothers are the cause of cold oatmeal, excessive blogging, sweat stains, and misfires in 9mm ammunition. The Koch Brothers are the cause of cabinet doors that do not line up, cracks in the sidewalk, the scourge of heroin, and every plane crash since 1972. The Koch Brothers are the cause of John McCain, senility, traitorism, and infiltration by the left (but I repeat myself). The Koch Brothers are the cause of low toner, high transmission rates, delivery service price increases, and gaudy shirts. The Koch Brothers are the cause of splinters, earth tremors, Gamma ray emission by the element Lawrencium, and the lack of hobbits in real life. The Koch Brothers are the cause of Facebook monitoring, trigger happy SWAT teams, pencil-neck geeks, and the Yellowstone Caldera. The Koch Brothers are the cause of Russia, France, Sweden, and Zambia. The Koch Brothers are the cause of carbon buildup, broken bungee cords, bad lap dances, and a lack of friendly greetings in cities. The Koch Brothers are the cause of paper cuts, whirlpools, thunder, and machine disconnects. The Koch Brothers are the cause of honey badgers, rigidity, painful exercise, and linear contraction. The Koch Brothers are the cause of Nancy Pelosi, botox overdoses, pure insanity, and Alzheimers (but I repeat myself). The Koch Brothers are the cause of regression analysis, micro-stamping, failed unions, and misaligned microwave towers. The Koch Brothers are the cause of blurry lenses, spider bites, stains, and legless crocodiles. The Koch Brothers are the cause of missing keyboard keys, unexpected phone calls, broken pottery, and squeaking doors. The Koch Brothers are the cause of warning labels on appliances, erectile dysfunction, waterspouts, and potholes. The Koch Brothers are the cause of canker sores, narcissistic Presidents, leaking toilets, and crack addiction. The Koch Brothers are the cause of corroded pennies, locomotive derailments, internet trolls, and wardrobe failures. The Koch Brothers are the cause of ADHD in the clergy, Blue Screens of Death on personal computers, the French Revolution of 1789, and thorns. The Koch Brothers are the cause of bad Muppet shows, holes in circus nets, the NFL going all-queer, all-the-time, and Sandra Fluke's birth-control deficit. The Koch Brothers are the cause of Israel's problems with Syria, excessive salt in the Pacific Ocean, the disappearance of Malaysian Air flight 370, and infomercials. The Koch Brothers are the cause of low-calorie diet soda, smudges on the Xerox, dry technical text, and animal abuse. The Koch Brothers are the cause of glass shards, bad pudding, hair cancer, and sun-dried dead worms. The Koch Brothers are the cause of porcelin stains, droughts, turbulence above 10000 feet, and power brown-outs. The Koch Brothers are the cause of low scores on Angry Birds, weak tea, Michael Jackson's early demise, and Micheal Jackson. The Koch Brothers are the cause of bad combovers, Chris Matthews, alcoholism, and spittle (but I repeat myself). The Koch Brothers are the cause of failed sitcoms, knots you cannot get undone, overly-rare hamburgers at restaurants, and Miley Cyrus.
Hope that helps heaps.
Laz
The Koch brothers shot J.R.
LOL
Loved it
5.56mm
This is to take the focus off of George Soros.
I wish we had hobbits in real life.
Good point... and Shelby Adelson, and Michael Bloomberg.
Midgets don’t even come close.
You missed the polar vortices, though. Perhaps a "Part II" is in order.
I haven’t even read the thread yet, but I’m in a mood. So ...
Hey, baby. You can politically stalk me anytime. Hubba, hubba.
I'm on the way to Texas as we speak. :)
It’s that whole “humblegunner in a skirt routine.” It’s got me in a mood.
Made me hot, too.
Reid is a Grade-A lunatic and a thug. What a combination.
Somewhat off-topic, but just a reminder that Harry Reid still hasn’t denied charges that he’s a pedophile.
Don't change the subject, you were talking about us hitting it.
-PJ
Don't be a Beiber-tease.
Oh yeah. Do YOU have a kilt?
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