You have GOT to be kidding. Are you using sarcasm? Please say yes!!
From the article:
As a precautionary measure, base officials implemented base lockdown procedures and instructed all personnel to shelter in place.
The safety of our people is our top priority, said Col. Randy Huiss, 436th Airlift Wing vice wing commander. We take this report very seriously and are taking the necessary precautions to investigate this matter.
Col. Randy Huiss - must be pronounced 'Randy Wuss". He probably is...
ff
Ah, give him a break. He’s obligated to follow the official line, stupid though it may be. It’s like your doctor. He probably wouldn’t touch a statin with a ten-foot pole, but if he doesn’t prescribe them to you, and you end up with a heart attack, you can sue the hell out of him.