Although much of what you said doesn’t apply to this particular case, I hear your general point and agree that what you said is the norm for too many.
When I was in 8th grade biology, there was a point that resonated with me like nothing else could. It was the fact that I was born with all of the eggs that I would ever have. That my future children were resting inside of me.
That’s when I began to make decisions on how I treated myself for the good of those babies. I didn’t touch drugs. After a couple very short experiences with alcohol, I gave that up, too. I didn’t get a tattoo until after I was done having babies and my body was really my own.
After watching my single mom struggle to support me, and seeing the contrast between that and how my friends with fathers lived, I realized that the single most important decision I could make for my future children was to chose their father well.
Girls do not understand that they’re already making choices that’ll affect their future children’s lives when their 15.
I think that one of the ideas that’s hurt that decision-making process is the premise that relationships should be based on love alone, with no practical considerations at all.
Even the thought that a girl can value herself and demand a commitment before having sex is beaten down by society. We get angry when so many girls act like cats in heat (not this guy’s mother, obviously) but don’t understand that contrary behavior isn’t even tolerated, let alone encouraged. Very few young men will stay with a young woman if she insists on remaining a virgin until her wedding night.
Good courtship has taken so many blows over the past few decades that I don’t think that there’s any hope left.
You were told by your parents and the precipice of your religion, the Ten Commandments, that marriage between a man and woman were created for a reason..it signified that these two people publicly declare that they love each other, and will honor and cherish and care for each other, til death separates them. It also made provisions for a woman who has the responsibility of bearing and rearing children, along with the husband. She will have the security of her husband protecting and providing for her and their children..or if the mother is also employed,they have the support and the availability of one another to fill in for the other, to help out when it's needed. They work together as a team. That's why there is a married mother and father...it takes two parents to truly make it work, and for the child to benefit fully as a well rounded individual.
The woman sets the tone in a relationship...believe in courtship, and let the man know that is what you believe in. And stick to it..have some backbone..you may have some lonely nights, but so what..you have set aside some goals for your future,and it doesn't include one night stands, or casual sex. Let the man know what type of man you're interested in knowing. After all, it is courtship...get to know one another..meet each other’s families, see if you're compatible and have things in common. If it progresses to the next step, which is an engagement, then it is here that I do believe a woman must determine if they're sexually compatible. There is a possibility that they won't be, and the marriage will be empty and unsatisfying, though your love and caring for one another may be intact. And, most important to a woman, use birth control, regardless if you're told it “doesn't feel as good.” You must protect yourself, and after marriage, it's between you and your husband about the size of a family that you'll want. Until then, you must not be foolish with your body or your future.
A woman has the most to loose in this society if she does not plan well and act accordingly. Respect yourself and have a plan of action for your future. Let the man know what your standards are, and stick to them. And if the current society damns you for your decisions, ignore them and carry on. It's your life, not theirs. Be strong and look to your religious beliefs to bolster your resolve. These may be difficult times for morality, but it will be up to us to do what is best, and hope the tide will change after enough people get burned by their lack of morals and a religious compass to help them.