I may be off base, but here is what I have observed about some gay men and some transgenders.
They want to be women but don’t know how. They perceive women in a completely convoluted way- see Tootsie. There is a scene where Dustin Hoffman is trying to be feminine, just listening to Jessica Lange talk and is completely awkward just trying to figure out what to do with his hands. It is effortless for me to exude femininity by twirling a strand of my hair, absentmindedly chewing my nails or dangling my strappy sandal by my toes. I may not even know I have done it but someone who is faking this looks like they are faking it and no amount of practice will make it look like they were born to do it.
Some don’t see women as full time moms or daughters or full time employees. Women attract men and the wannabees only see the parts of women that do that- faces, mannerisms, hair, sexual orifices.
Most of the gay men I have worked with WERE great. But, two were violent psychopaths who HATED women. H A T E D.
My thoughts- those two failed as men. They thought that they could easily slide into a woman’s role but didn’t have the faintest idea on how do do that other than to offer their sexual orifice, which is all they thought that women had to do to attract a man.
It is sad.