FUHRER: I’ve read the reports of Obamacare signups. I see we’re making progress and the website problems are being addressed. Is victory in sight?
GENERAL: My Fuhrer... its not so simple. As you can see, ensuring timely health care access and getting patients to see the doctors they want is still not assured. Our planning is incomplete to ensure success in these areas. Fuhrer... we also face a massive Republican counterattack. We can’t guarantee our reserves will be sufficient to repel it.
FUHRER: I am surrounded with incompetent fools! Fegelein made a fool out of me by prompting me to declare a premature victory. Gentlemen - one more victory like this and my legacy is lost forever! The Republicans keep running rings around me and I don’t even have proof to show them my health care plan works! I can never trust Prussian generals in monocles to plan a war! When you generals were panicking, it was only due to my iron will the health care fort remained intact. I’d hate to have negotiate a surrender to the Republicans if they win this fall! I expect you gentlemen, to rescue the situation as time is running short - and make sure when you do to bring Fegelein to me. He’s caused me great political pain. Look at whom I have to live with and none of this news makes me want to recall the greatest days of my political career. This should rightly be the feather in my cap. (sigh)
Very nice!