If this doesn't cheer you up, nothing will...
"The liberals are asking us to give Obama time. We agree...and think 25 to life would be appropriate." (Jay Leno)
" America needs Obama-care like Nancy Pelosi needs a Halloween mask." (Jay Leno)
"Q: Have you heard about McDonald's' new Obama Value Meal?
A: Order anything you like and the guy behind you has to pay for it." (Conan O'Brien)
"Q: What does Barack Obama call lunch with a convicted felon?
A: A fund raiser." (Jay Leno)
"Q: What's the difference between Obama's cabinet and a penitentiary?
A: One is filled with tax evaders, blackmailers, and threats to society. The other is for housing prisoners." (David Letterman)
"Q: If Nancy Pelosi and Obama were on a boat in the middle of the ocean and it started to sink, who would be saved?
A: America !" (Jimmy Fallon)
"Q: What's the difference between Obama and his dog, Bo?
A: Bo has papers." (Jimmy Kimmel)
"Q: What was the most positive result of the "Cash for Clunkers" program?
A: It took 95% of the Obama bumper stickers off the road." (David Letterman)
Solution to the problem in Egypt:
They want a new Muslim leader, Give them ours.