Losing Your Best Friend

We all know that it will not last forever. But when the end comes you’re never really ready to accept it. I had been through this before, but this one was the toughest. She was the one that had my heart more than any other. She was the one I will miss the most.

She came into our lives as just a baby. We had a girl already and a boy. But our girl was at the end of her days. We did not want the boy to be left alone so we thought we would get him a mate to be with when we were not around. Betsy took one look at this new runt and said “I am not going anywhere quite yet.” She hung on for two years after that and left us while she was sleeping in her bed. We became accustomed to having three so wanted a new member of the family. She looked a lot different than the other two, but was quite special in her own way.

What made Cookie so unique? Those fourteen pounds of white with those piercing black eyes was exceedingly smart-- much more so than the others. We had many sharing our house over the years, but this one was so much smarter. Even though she was seemingly slight she was as tough as they come. If you were a lizard or groundhog or opossum who dared enter her back yard, you did not have a chance against this prowler of her domain.

Everyone has a favorite memory of their best friend. Mine was when we went to pick up the kids from sleepover camp and Cookie came with us. She decided to tour the camp on her own. She was so lightning fast it literally took twenty people chasing her down to finally catch her before she met a SUVs tire. It was a sight one never forgets.

She had tacitly been my son’s to compensate for the fact that her older brother was my daughter’s. That all ended when #1 son went away to college. Cookie became mine. Whenever I was home from the moment I woke up she was with me. If I went for a walk she would be the only one with the endurance to keep up and often she was pulling me along. If I was on the treadmill she would be my companion; there the entire time. She would lie next to me on the couch every evening. She slept with us and was often hogging my space as I was always the last one in bed.

But her body betrayed her. Her mind was still as sharp as ever, but her kidneys and pancreas gave out. We tried our best to keep her with us, but it became time and the grueling decision was made to let her go. When the kids and I took her to do the deed, it was a challenge that cannot be conveyed in words. One feels so helpless standing there next to her. You have protected her and taken care of her since she was a baby, but now you cannot any longer. Then the doctor comes in to do what I cannot imagine I could ever do; even though you may intellectualize that you are doing the best thing, your heart cannot tell you that. Then my beloved Cookie was gone.

There is a difference among people. When my wife told a relation that we were soon losing Cookie, he said that is why he could not have someone like that in his life. The loss was too painful. I thought what a horrible way to live life. Lord Tennyson said it best: “ ‘Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.”

God works in mysterious ways. As Cookie was experiencing her final days, Darling Daughter was told at work of a new friend who needed a home. As the kids were coming home with the ten-year-old we had saved from untold mayhem, I asked them if Rocky knew he had just won the lottery. His second day in the house he crawled up on the couch, brought his front legs on my leg and laid his face in my lap. I questioned why anyone would ever let anyone like this leave their home. He has fit very well with his older brother and younger sister.

I told Rocky that as cool as he appears to be that he has large shoes to fill. At least he has taken over being the one with me on the treadmill. But there will never be someone to fill the hole in my heart for the loss of my best friend. God be with you

He was my most trusted, faithful companion. He was the love of my life and the best cuddle buddy I’ve ever had. He was kind, gentle, considerate to all, human or animal. He loved others and made friends quickly. One day, ‘’Cricket’’ sat at a distance watching ‘’Bubs’’ eat his supper. Bubs ate his fill and then stepped aside, looked at Cricket, looked at the dish, and encouraged Cricket to come and eat. Cricket had such a look of shock and surprised on his face because another animal was being so kind to him. Though Cricket lived among 5 other dogs, none of them were his friends. But, Bubs befriended him.

At first, I thought I’d overfed Bubs and so the next night, I put less in his dish. He ate, but left just the right amount for Cricket, and again, he encouraged the little dog to come and eat...from Bub’s own dish even! On the third night, I put even less food into Bub’s dish, and once again, he saved the same amount of food for Cricket. That’s when I realized that his kindness was no accident. It was intentional. From there on in, I made sure Bubs had his fill, and there was always enough left for Cricket. How many dogs will eat less, so another can have his fill?

Bubs loved to be a good friend. The smaller the dog, the more Bubs loved. He taught puppies how to play and not be afraid. He’d get down on his belly and pull himself along to play with the pup, so that he wouldn’t be large and intimidating to the baby.

When a human baby came into our home, Bubs would sniff that baby from head to toe and everything in between until he was satisfied that he ‘’knew’’ that child. I would whisper in his ear, “”Bubs, that’s a NO’’ and he’d look at me, turn his face and walk away to lie down. Never did he approached the baby’s until he was satisfied they were big enough to play. He only had to be told once, kindly and gently, that something was a ‘’NO’’ and he never bothered it again.

For years, he pulled a wagon so our little girls could go for a ride. He was so proud to ride those kids around. He held his head high and pranced with his feet like a miniature show horse.

After 14 years of faithful, loving, kindness, he began walking on the tops of his feet, and his tongue couldn’t find the water in the bowl. The lymphoma cancer had invaded his brain, and he was in pain. No longer could he cuddle with me in my bed, although he tried..it hurt too much.

It broke my heart to have to take him to the vet...he was so afraid of them. But, out of love and faithfulness to my very best friend, we did our best to take away all suffering and pain.

He was burried at home with his collar, his leash, and his cookies..his three favorite possessions.

One night I had a dream. I heard a dog barking and it sounded like Bubs. Focusing on the bark, I could see him in the distance on the other side of the Rainbow Bridge, playing with joy in the green grass of Wyoming. He was free, shiny, healthy, and happy. He was thanking me for his freedom and for giving him a good life. He’ll be waiting for me when my time comes.

Bubs was a pitbull.

That was my Cody. Although he was only 7 pounds, he was always by my side. Eating crumbs that were dropped in the kitchen, we now have to bend over and pick them up, to jogging for an hour always in front, even when he blew up with extra fluids from his soon to be diagnosed cancer he would walk and jog with me.

And what a gardener, he would be out there with me all day digging, eating and running around making sure there were no snakes, gophers or voles to eat our garden. His favorite food were fresh green beans, he would wait in anticipation of getting one while harvesting, I finally told him it was Ok to help himself. He would run right to them and pick them off the stem and crunch away. I had him for 11 years, he lived for 12, he was a rescue, and died 2-14-14. Miss you guy!

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