By the time a child is three, a lot of behaviors have been laid down. Babies are born with their brain only partly programmed. In the first two or three years, some things happen to that brain which cannot easily be modified. We adopted a little girl when she was 2 1/2. She had been abused. She now is very functional and I love her but she was a challenge to raise.
Exactly. WHen an infant cries, he is fed, changed, or picked up and rocked. He learns to trust his world. He learns to trust his mother. By the time he's independent, i.e. crawling, walking, reaching for a hot stove, a parent is able to correct him without compromising his ability to trust. A child who lived in Hell the first three years of his life, which I'm assuming this kid did, has never learned to trust. The corrections to him are coming from a completely different place.
God bless on your healed child. I also am the adopted father and grandfather of once broken, now healed (or healing) children.