No, but they'll make the suspect out to be some poor misunderstood youth that just wanted some Arizona Tea and Skittles - it was all a simple misunderstanding with the store clerk. She of course represents the oppressive, evil, dispassonate big business interests. The local that fired his deer rifle will be thoroughly castigated as a racist. This of course based on absolutely zero evidence, but who needs evidence when you have emotion? There will be an outcry to ban bolt action 30 cal deer rifles as "vigilante assault weapons." In fact the whole incident will be spun as a cautionary tale of vigilante justice and how those big bad firearms embolden people to stand up for themselves. (cast as a bad thing) Aall the while missing the point (aka conveniently ignoring) that it was a criminal that started the entire sequence of events. Oh, and the property owner will be taken to task for not having made his/her shed into a nicer place for the homeless or those fleeing justice.
Sadly, not satire. I believe some or all of that will come to pass.