Keep telling yourself that.
He means his Mom, upstairs....she’s his friend because she lets him live in her basement and use her old PC to play Minecraft all day long, building pretend worlds with other pretend friends of his...unfortunately, she’s not been able to help him with his sinus problem (hence the “snort” that persists across most of his posts...)
Unintentionally funny . . . I can count you as a friend, now.