5 minutes ago I gave the order to the kommander of my Community Solution Mobilization League, or ComSoMoL forces to fan out and stabilize communities across the nation. Beginning with the Threat posed by our House of Representatives you will begin to see units of highly motivated navigators removing impediments to our collective progress...
“My fellow Americans, I am pleased to tell you today that I’ve signed legislation that will outlaw the Tea Party forever. We begin bombing in five minutes.”