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Good afternoon, everybody. I am still new at this job so please bear with me here. I know it has been more than 4 years already but I think, just now, I am beginning to understand that I was actually elected -Hot Damn! I can't believe it either!

Of course there will be ups and downs for our nation. Of course I am also aware that I, personally have brought us all to a new low. Never before in modern history has America looked so bad, so indecisive, so weak. Thanks to me and my super stardom personality, the weak nation that I run is, slowly moving in the direction of me, in my wake, Mr. Cool, Mr. Know it all, Mr. Community Organizer.

I hope that America, after I am long gone from office and after historians trashed my record will still be a significant power in the world but if not, hey, at least we came into an impressive 3rd.