I saw something similar in life. I realized that college was the best time to find a husband, since practically all the men are single and I could get a ton of first dates.
I developed a laundry list of questions from listening to Dr. Laura’s show. What are you going to do for a career? Do you want children? Where do you see yourself in ten years? I was up front - I was looking for a husband, not a good time. Many guys freaked. Better to weed them out now, before the emotional entanglement and the “He’s not right, but I love him”.
I was engaged by 20, married at 22 the weekend after graduation. First child at 26. Second before age 30.
I was ridiculed at work for my first, told I was having her too young. I had a husband I’d known for 6 years, a house, several years of working experience ... and they acted as if I were pregnant at 16.
Fast forward a few years. I have two kids in elementary school, and many of the peers who ridiculed me for aiming for a husband who wanted kids while in college are TRYING to find a guy like that now - after the field has been winnowed. Or they are TRYING to have children, and envy me mine.
We live in a society where women who make the choice to find a spouse and have children are denigrated. Until they realize that a decade of working and dating after college pushes you against the biological clock.
Bless you for your family. More people should feel free to follow your example.
Excellent post.
I moved down south, and I was amazed by the number of families in the area. This small community I live in is loaded with families who have two or more children. The median age here is 32. With all the families here, the result has been a stable and vibrant community that votes about 70% conservative in national elections. They are also very religious.
People like you are following the right path in life. You deserve to be commended for your choices.
tbw, you sound just like me 30 years ago. FWIW, I am one of the oldest in Gen-X; conceived during the Baby Boom, but just missing it by 2 months.
I did try to find a husband while I was in school, but no luck. After college, I lived at home. My best friend and I talked more than once about getting an apartment, but both of our parents thought that was a silly waste of money (we lived in NYC).
Instead, I got a job making good money, contributed to the household pot, and resumed my hunt for a husband. It took a little longer than I’d hoped, but I finally found a great guy. We married and I moved into his apartment (it was fun having a little apartment as newlyweds).
As soon as I became pregnant, we began looking for a house on Long Island, and soon enough, we found one, where we live to this day.
We celebrate our 20th anniversary this fall.
Now all that’s left to do is get the oldest into college (he’s a senior) and we can think about escaping NY for good.
I’d like to buy a big old piece of land somewhere, with a little pond or lake on it...and maybe have a little gentleman’s farm. Maybe I’ll even put up a couple of guest cottages to house our parents if the need arises.
It will take some doing, but I am a patient woman. We’ll get there, I’m sure.
Regards,
PS: Forgot to say, that I commend you on your choices. I pray they all work out well for you!