“...A lot of people don’t recall
the hatred of Jeff Davis and Lee
that existed in the south...”
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You can count me and everyone I have ever known
among those who don’t recall that.
I have ancestors and current relatives who were named after them.
It was the universal distaste for Jeff Davis that led to the elevation of Lee as an icon soon after the war. Lee being safely dead, and Davis being cursed with a long life and a vivid imagination and thirst for vengeance, he occupied his time writing various fictions (The Rise of the Confederate Government being one).
If Davis was liked, they would not have needed the idolatry of Lee.
Perhaps you should associate with a better class of southerners.
For example: Seek out the ones that know that Hood burned Atlanta.