Since guns are almost impossible to get in Britain, this may actually all be a giant prank because we ALL KNOW that banning guns will end violent crime; that bans work, and that once something is illegal, the problem goes away. After all, it’s worked so well with murder, cocaine and drunk driving.
That having been said, the following new laws are proposed:
1) background checks for anyone buying a meat cleaver
2) a three day waiting period of all meat cleaver purchases
3) no one under age 21 can buy a meat cleaver
4) anyone seeking to possess a meat cleaver must go through mandatory butcher training including a filet competency test
5) ALL MEAT CLEAVERS CAPABLE OF CUTTING MORE THAN 7 OUNCES OF MEAT ARE BANNED
6) no meat cleavers may be concealed on your person
7) schools are hereby declared no meat cleaver zones
8) anyone possessing more than five meat cleavers wil be considered a terrorist by the government
9) Nancy Pelosi and harry Reid now consider meat cleavers “America’s number one public health threat”
There have been calls to ban kitchen knives in (formerly) Great Britain. Not even a joke.