Where is it written I must take in my kids’ bedmates?
Dear Ms Zahn: buy a map, lay it out on the table and look at it with your son. You will see that the USA is a very big place and 98% of it is cheaper to live in than San Diego. Empty the nest and atop indulging your overgrown baby.
No girlfriend or boyfriend of a child of mine would be allowed to move into my home. What is wrong with people???
bfl
How many of these parents wouldn’t face this problem if they’d made the kid live at home while attending college? Then they would go to a cheap local school and have no room and board, instead of paying an extra $8-15,000 per year for room and board - and then having to move in with Mom and Dad to pay off student loans.
The cat litter box is now in the second bedroom, I wonder why my guys never want to move back?
If your offspring asks to move back in, you should either simply say “no”, or treat them as a tenant seeking room and board.
Draw up a permanent non changing contract for a fair rent and put in any policies like “no pets” and “no girl/boyfriends”. Make sure they agree to everything before they move in.
Expect that they may never be able to move out again. If you can’t accept that, say “no”.
Don’t give them meaningless grunt work chores or make them your slave, just have them pay the rent and clean up after themselves as if they were a stranger tenant. If you can’t agree to that, say “no”.
Don’t do their laundry. Don’t buy their toiletries or detergents or buy anything for them unless you’ve included that in the rent. Don’t clean their space for them. Don’t cook for them unless you make group meals already and it wouldn’t make a difference if they eat some or not. Of course, include food in the rent unless you disallow them access to your food stores (in which case they will need space in the fridge, unless they have their own, and you mustn’t eat their food either). Allow them their privacy. If the space you give them has cable or internet, let them use it as it doesn’t cost you anything. If you are worried about the electricity bill, include that in their rent.
If you are afraid they are going to put you in debt, you didn’t set the rent correctly. You should actually be making a little money or at the very least breaking even. And you will have the most agreeable tenant anyone could ask for as blood is thick. If your offspring is a jerk you could never bear to live with, say “no”.
Your offspring will either find a way to move on in life or they won’t. Accept them either way. Or at the very least, ignore them as you would a stranger tenant. If you can’t do this, say “no” when they ask to move in.
If they break the contract or stop paying the rent, be firm and tell them to leave. If you even suspect your offspring would eventually do this, say “no” from the beginning.
That’s what I would do, and I don’t see why anyone would have a problem with doing it that way. If someone could explain to me why this is bad I’d appreciate it.