Repost-
I read a theory on Freep that has been stuck in my mind for about a week or so. I have tried to locate the post so I can quote the person who wrote it but I simply can”t find it. (If you are reading this, I apologize. I really tried.)
The theory basically said that homosexuals are stuck at a level of sexual immaturity beyond which most people move and become heterosexual. (Little kids aren’t yet sexual so they don’t qualify as homo or hetero for this argument.)
The point is - those of us who are hetero, do you remember when you were very small? Way back before puberty? When sex was something you didn’t even know about? What did you think of the opposite sex? If you were a boy you probably thought girls were icky. If you were a girl you probably thought boys were stupid. Then as puberty hit something began to change. You began to have feelings that weren’t there before. You began to feel attracted to the opposite sex. It was confusing and exciting at the same time.
The theory says that for whatever reason (Something different about their brains? Some psychological trauma?) people who are homosexual did not make this jump. They became sexual without losing their distaste for the opposite sex and maturing to the next level. They are adults with the sexual attitudes of children.
I found the idea interesting. It had never occurred to me before that homosexual attitudes towards the opposite sex were very similar to the attitudes held by prepubescent children.
It was something I realized long ago. In childhood, there was mostly revulsion between the boys and girls. You have to get over it - it can be a challenge. To really live up to being a dull fledged man or woman can be scary, especially for those with traumatic childhoods, etc. It is a choice one makes, to get on with it and face it.
Interesting. I have a friend now who is homosexual and he was at the end of a family of 8, his brothers were all the oldest in the family and he was surrounded by girls but he had a best friend and they did everything together and then the friend died when they were about 13. I have often wondered about that because I know the trauma caused in our family when my brother died as a teenager.
My husband’s cousin was 12 when he found out that the man he thought was his father wasn’t and that sure could have been the truama that affected him. I don’t know.
I think my mother was always a little biplolar but my brother’s death put her over the edge. I have a niece who also went over the edge after a trauma. I just observe and I would say that this homosexual is bipolar and narcissistic but I’m not a psychiatrist and this is the first homosexual I have known well and spent a lot of time with so I’m no expert.
He is very immature at 50 and still acts like a kind of mature Junior High kid. He was also unnaturally, IMO, close to his mother and when his mother was dying of cancer got on drugs and went totally out of control. He’s off them now but his family abandoned him when he got on the drugs and those bridges haven’t been rebuilt and probably won’t be.