Back when I was still in the work force, I was required to have an annual hearing test. One of the questions I was always asked was if I smoked. I always said no, even though I did indeed smoke, thinking, what the hell does smoking have to do with hearing.
One year she asked me, I said no and she said, "I can see a pack of cigarettes in your shirt pocket". I told her that I was just carrying them for a friend, who didn't want his parents to know that he smoked.
She was not amused.
Now that right there’s funny...I don’t care who you are.