[Dr. Sivana]

We can deal with this problem in a rational, moderate manner. We don't need a complete confiscation. But really: who NEEDS a Sanford .2mm ultra-fine microball, at least besides lawyers and accountants who are properly certified? Why should pens be sold in TEN packs? Who needs TEN pens at a time? Also, those cheap BIC Biros and Papermates are found all over the place, the Biros in particular have a nasty habit of leaking ink when used in a stabbing. And those high-end Cross pens with their exchangeable cartridge feature ... utterly untraceable. Those old school fountain pens with a military style bayonet sharp nib? Barbaric!

No. Those who insist on pen ownership can use a felt tip pen only (no more than one every 34 days, as computers have made pens largely superfluous for real work); offices must lock their supplies in an approved pen safe. If anyone has need for a hard tip pen (including the semi-hard Pilot chisel tip), the proper form must be submitted. The form is in triplicate on carbon paper. Any indication of using a hard tip killer pen before approval will forfeit both the application and the $300 fee. There is no need for a complete ban.

[SoFloFreeper]

All good points. How long will it take Congress to act? The Big Pen lobby has been intractable.

Perhaps our Dear Leader can just issue an edict against the evil Pen Lobby.

[Aevery_Freeman]

Good start but you have completely failed to address the problem of the availability of writing implements in schools.

[Salamander]

One word;

SHARPIES!!!

[Salamander]

Not to be confused with Shar Peis.

[Salamander]

Or the dreaded ball point pen knife.