Sad yes in the overall picture, I agree.
But parents, and a bunch of posters on this thread (not saying you) Are missing a couple important points.
A parent does not ‘own’ an adult child, regardless of any work contract/agreements or whatnot. By all accounts she was/is a top student and headed in a good direction in her chosen career. Parents can make whatever demands they want outside that. All day long. But they have ZERO ‘Right’ to dictate squat to an adult.
Now second, If a parent ‘feels’ they have the ‘right’ to treat a 21 yo like a 5 yo at her first slumber party, I believe that adult child id better off without having insane parents in their life. Perhaps forever if needed.
Because next it will be a nonstop pry into choosing a husband, dictating terms of their marriage, dictating terms of raising children, dictating what school THOSE CHILDREN go to.....
It will never end.
And all the people here siding with the parents should get to know an adult child who suffered through that absolute hell before opining the kid is the problem.
Perhaps in some cases they are. Perhaps this one is too. But I maintain that no ‘parent’ owns the life or any aspect thereof, of an adult child, period.
And in cases where a split happens because a parent refuses to accept their boundaries as a parent and as another human being,, it is the fault of Mommie and Daddy Dearest regardless of how much they spend on college.
What I find interesting with this case is indeed the perception and that involves (usually) life experience. I am sure there are parents out there that try to control to the point that it is smothering. I am also sure there are “adult” children.. willing to take the tuition, room and boarding, spending money and feel they don’t have any sort of obligation towards behavior. As I stated before, if the young woman does indeed have a mental disorder that the parents claim... then that will come to light. If she is mentally healthy, ambitious and just trying to start a life away from being told constantly what to do... then that will also come to life.
A split isn’t always on the parents. It is if it involves boundaries but sorry... I’ve known two couples that their one child no longer contacts them. One is because his wife doesn’t like “family” and the other one is because the daughter got into drugs/crime/bad company. Both set of parents have tried and tried and tried to no avail. I guess parenting is tricky... it isn’t always happy tidings.