One answer is to get your son into the Boy Scouts. Make him stick with it long enough to do Philmont or some other high adventure activity.
As a Scoutmaster, I can offer no better advice. Get your boys in Scouts. We just took our troop to New Jersey to help with storm cleanup. THey see that the world is bigger than them and that men are needed.
I was a single mom with a son, and as a Freeper, I was very exposed to the dangers that would face him (not the same dangers as my other single mom peers, but dangers such as “mama’s boy-ism”, bad grades, anti-social behaviors, etc) so I put him in Cub Scouts in first grade (my father was very involved in his life, but was not a rough and tumble kind of guy). I ended up remarrying an Eagle Scout who is a fantastic father to my older two kids and the two we had together. They went to Northern Tier two summers ago and my son came back so prepared and mature, I can’t praise it enough. Scouts has been wonderful for my son (though he is embarrassed to talk about it to most of his friends because of the stigma for an almost 15 year old). The two of them will be going to Philmont next summer. My husband and his dad went when he was my son’s age and said it was a life defining experience. I am very excited for them both!
I have told my son that he is in Scouts until he achieves his Eagle, too. My other three kids are girls, and I wish Girl Scouts was anything like the Boy Scouts!!! I found it was nothing but a year long cookie drive. Sigh.