Trust me, i’d love to see some serious discussion too! but you’re right, we’d end up being the crazies! Same situation with my brother..anytime I try to bring up anything about my brother getting help or us as a family trying to help him, I get shut down & end up being the bad guy/gal. It’s beyond frustrating!
Rainee, I hear you and believe you.
I’ve dealt with two mentally-ill family members. No one can know just how difficult this is until they experience it.
Unless the affected person is willing to admit and accept help, it’s almost impossible to intervene. You must essentially prove that the person is a danger in advance of the event, and our system doesn’t work pre-emptively.
My heart is with you. How worried you must be for your mother.
Taking responsibility is the hardest step particularly when you may be seen as "screwing up" your kid. But unfortunately the VA Tech shooter was dumped at the school, the parents did not take responsibility. The first step in responsibility is getting proper help (not just any old help and NOT just drugs).
The odds are extremely low of anyone becoming a mass murderer but there are some relatively simple things that might be done like having second amendment rights annulled. I don't really know how that's done formally but there should be a way.