(I am the manager on duty for a well-known high-end jewelry store during the weekend.)
Employee: You have to come out and see this customer now.
Me:Whats the matter?
Employee:She is becoming belligerent because I told her we have to send her watch to be fixed. Shes causing a scene and other customers are complaining. She is insistent that she needs it now.
(I go out to talk to the customer.)
Me: Hello, my name is [name]. What seems to be the issue?
Customer:I have been waiting a f***ing hour! Your stupid representative told me that my watch isnt working any more; it was working when I walked in!
Me: Let me have a look at it, please.
(I proceed to touch her beat down and heavily abused watch and begin winding the crown.)
Customer: Do you even know how to work a watch?!
Me: Maam, I have been with (company) for several years. I assure you I can work a crown and pin mechanism on a quartz watch.
Customer:I wasnt trying to be condescending!
Me: Thats fine.
(We proceed to go back and forth for a few minutes. I decide to refund her money and send her on her way. By now, her mood has changed from angry to happy.)
Customer: Oh, youre just so wonderful! You are the absolute best! I am going to write a recommendation letter to your director and put my ESQ after my name. *smugly* Im a lawyer, you know.
Me:Oh, Ive got my own lawyer, thanks. My husband works for [huge NYC law firm].
Customer: *stunned* Uh I also work for [same firm]. Who is your husband?
Me:Hes in Litigation. His name is [husband's name].
(Suddenly, the customers jaw drops and all color leaves her face.)
Customer: Hes your husband? Um he supervises all my work.
Me: Does he now? Well, well, what a small world!
Customer: I uh am a temp attorney and am trying to get a permanent job at the firm. He is wow hes really smart and brilliant and um you are so beautiful and intelligent you make such an elegant couple!
Me:Thank you. Anyway, heres my business card should you need to follow up regarding your watch.
Customer: Oh, I know I have a business card somewhere, too.
Me: Oh, dont you worry; I will most definitely remember your name. Ill make sure to let my husband know you send your regards.
Customer: *turns bright red and slinks away*
That will work. Welcome to the thread hijack. It’s Friday. It’s official.