I know it's not much consolation to people who have been in bad marriages to say this, but bruising, life-wrecking divorces are not the norm even now. From where I stand --- from what I can see (maybe this is a "subculture," but it's a major subculture) ---I see faithful husbands and wives, faithful to each other and to our children, and to God to Whom our vows are paid.
It’s also a generational thing.
I’m talking specifically about the situation facing young males today - in the age bracket (say, 18 to 30) where they’d want to marry and start a family.
Women in that age bracket are, in the majority, some of the most self-entitled brats and solipsists I’ve ever met. About one third of them are overweight, about one eighth of them border on morbid obesity. They’re loud, obnoxious, ready to complain and fight at the drop of a hat, and many of them think that men are little more than a wallet on legs.
My advice to young men today is to not get married, period, full stop. If they find the girl of their dreams who they can get to know very well and discover everything about her attitudes towards money, work, parenting, etc - and they think she’s not a loon, well then perhaps make an exception to the rule.
But the consequences of choosing poorly are now so high for men that failure to choose correctly is no longer an option. Wages for young men have stagnated, and with the costs of tuition, housing, cars, etc - a young man simply cannot afford to go through even a relatively civil divorce. I’m not talking the crazy-woman divorces here, I’m talking of a normal divorce with normal outcomes. They’re financially crushing for most men.
Older people here on FR who associate only with conservative Christians need to get out more. They’re living in a small and shrinking community in the US. Go take a walkabout on either coast of the US, where the majority of the population lives, and you’ll see that I’m not offering bad advice to young men.
I should add that I’m happily married for a long time to only one girl. And she largely agrees with me and is flabbergasted at some of the venal, abusive and irrational behavior by young women. She would like it if I were not offering the advice I am to young men, but she understands why I am offering said advice to young men. She sees the same situation I do.