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Posted on 11/29/2012 4:00:14 PM PST by RedMDer
270 FReepers with $10 or 27 FReepers with a $100 and we are over the top. How about it FReepers. Any takers? Let's Put This Baby To Bed!
ROTFL.
Is *THAT* your creation?
Yes. Try it and email it to yourself or someone! Then you get a link to post! ROFLOL!
http://host-d.oddcast.com/elfyourself2012/home.php
This was on the FR Friday Silliness Thread:
FORREST GUMP GOES TO HEAVEN
The day finally arrived. Forrest Gump dies and goes to Heaven...
He is at the Pearly Gates, met by St. Peter himself.
However, the gates are closed, and Forrest approaches the gatekeeper.
St. Peter said, ‘Well, Forrest, it is certainly good to see you. We have heard a lot about you.
I must tell you, though, that the place is filling up fast, and we have been administering an entrance examination for everyone to speed up the entry process.
The test is short, but you have to pass it before you can get into Heaven.’
Forrest responds, ‘It sure is good to be here, St.. Peter, sir. But nobody ever told me about any entrance exam. I
sure hope that the test ain’t too hard. Life was a big enough test as it was.’
St.. Peter continued, ‘Yes, I know, Forrest, but the test is only three questions.
First:
What two days of the week begin with the letter T?
Second:
How many seconds are there in a year?
Third:
What is God’s first name?’
Forrest leaves to think the questions over.
He returns the next day and sees St. Peter, who waves him up, and says, ‘Now that you have had a chance to think the questions over, tell me your answers.’
Forrest replied, ‘Well, the first one — which two days in the week begins with the letter ‘T’? Shucks, that one
is easy. That would be Today and Tomorrow..’
The Saint’s eyes opened wide and he exclaimed, ‘Forrest, that is not what I was thinking, but you do have a point, and I guess I did not specify, so I will give you credit
for that answer. How about the next one?’ asked St. Peter.
‘How many seconds in a year?’
Now that one is harder,’ replied Forrest, ‘but I thunk and thunk about that, and I guess the only answer can be twelve.’
Astounded, St. Peter said, ‘Twelve? Twelve?! Forrest, how in Heaven’s name could you come up with twelve seconds in a year?’
Forrest replied, ‘Shucks, there’s got to be twelve:
January 2nd, February 2nd, March 2nd... ‘
‘Hold it,’ interrupts St. Peter. ‘I see where you are going with this, and I see your point, though that was
not quite what I had in mind....but I will have to give you credit for that one, too.
Let us go on with the third and final question. Can you tell me God’s first name’?
‘Sure,’ Forrest replied, ‘it’s Andy.’
‘Andy?’ exclaimed an exasperated and frustrated St. Peter.
‘Ok, I can understand how you came up with your answers to my first two questions, but just how in the world did you
come up with the name Andy as the first name of God?’
‘Shucks, that was the easiest one of all,’ Forrest replied. ‘I learnt it from the song,
ANDY WALKS WITH ME,
ANDY TALKS WITH ME,
ANDY TELLS ME I AM HIS OWN.’
St. Peter opened the Pearly Gates,
and said: ‘Run, Forrest, run.’
OKay...LOL.
LOLOLOLOL.
That’s wonderful!
I love it!
One the guys that I work work with thought, as a child, that His Name was Art.
Our Father who’s Art in Heaven.... LOL!
And my wife, as a child thought that the Mass ended with “Thank’s speedy God” LOLOLOL!
This was on the FR Friday Silliness thread and I thought the
Freep ladies would enjoy it:
HOW TO BE A GRACIOUS MOTHER
Jennifer’s wedding day was fast approaching. Nothing could dampen her excitement - not even her parent’s nasty divorce.
Her mother had found the PERFECT dress to wear, and would be the best-dressed mother-of-the-bride ever!
A week later, Jennifer was horrified to learn that her
father’s new, young wife had bought the exact same dress as her mother!
Jennifer asked her father’s new young wife to exchange it, but she refused.
“Absolutely not! I look like a million bucks in this dress, and I’m wearing it,” she replied.
Jennifer told her mother who graciously said, ‘’Never mind sweetheart. I’ll get another dress. After all, it’s your special day.’’
A few days later, they went shopping, and did find another gorgeous dress for her mother.
When they stopped for lunch, Jennifer asked her mother, ‘’Aren’t you going to return the other dress? You really don’t have another occasion where you could wear it.”
Her mother just smiled and replied, ‘’Of course I do dear.....I’m wearing it to the rehearsal dinner the night BEFORE the wedding.’’
That’s good!!!!!
To coin a phrase: I don’t care who you are, that’s funny right there! LOL+
From the mouth of babes. LOL!
Art! LOLOLOLOL.
That’s great!
Makes sense!
Ha ha ha ha ha ha!
You have to try it. It’s hilarious! :)
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