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Parents often spank their kids because the parent allows the child to be drive them to the edge of their patience.

If a parent follows Dobson’s suggestions consistently spanking isn't necessary because the parent doesn't get his buttons pushed.

One of the suggestions of Dobson that I found very useful was “practice”. For instance if a child slams the screen door, then a useful response on the part of the parent is to have him practice closing it quietly ten times.

If a child is squirmy in church or at the doctor's office, then “practicing church” or “practicing going to the doctor's office” for a few minutes a day for a few weeks helps a child learn expected behavior.

Also...His suggestion to use natural consequences worked wonders for our family. For example, one of our preschoolers whined about not going to Mc Donalds when the plan was to go for pizza. My husband quietly said to our son, “I am not having a good time.” He turned the car around, dropped my son off with a neighbor, and the rest of us went out for pizza. That never happened again with any of the kids. Throughout the children's childhood, all my husband and I had to say was, “I am not having a good time.” , and the misbehavior stopped immediately.

Excellent suggestions! My SIL related an incident she had with my nephew when he was about five. They had gone to the grocery store and he wanted a cookie at the bakery. She got it for him but said he could have after they got home and he had lunch first. Well, he was STEAMED! He complained and whined and even told the cashier how unfair it was that he couldn't eat his cookie, now! My SIL told him calmly again that he could have it after lunch but he wouldn't stop and was at the screaming stage by the time they were heading to the car. So she said, "If you don't stop right now, I'm throwing the cookie away.". He, of course, challenged her by continuing his fit and she walked with him to the garbage can and threw his cookie away. He was shocked, but he stopped his tantrum and, guess what, she didn't have that problem with him again.

When I used to teach elementary school, from the first day I went over the rules for the classroom. We discussed each rule, why it was a good rule and what the consequences would be for breaking the rule. Every class had the few who would challenge my authority, but I showed them that I meant what I said, and there were no second chances - the punishment was meted out as we discussed. It wasn't paddling, BTW. I would usually have to be hard on them for about two weeks - not letting any slip by - but that was all it took. They knew the rules and knew I would enforce them fairly. The rest of the year went smoothly and I rarely had discipline problems. All the other teachers would ask me how I got my class to be so well-behaved.

I think what children today are missing out on because of the need for both parents to work to support the family is that they end up being raised by their teachers or other caregivers who do not have the experience, education or temperament - much less the authority - to train each child up in the ways best suited to each one. They have to go with a one-size-fits-all strategy and it's why we have so much of a problem in public schools. I taught in a private Christian school - they couldn't pay me enough to teach in public ones today! If kids do not learn respect for authority at home, they will seldom learn it anywhere else.