[dfwgator]

I work for TxDOT and every month we get a free "Texas Highways" around payday. My buddy and I greet the guy who passes them out with "Pass these out to the boys in lieu of pay".

"Why do I always get a warped one?"

[Feckless]

Wrong feckless government agency, (though I see how you could make that mistake driving on our roads...) that would be the Post Office.