I agree with Rochester.. like my women fit...would never date or marry a chubby or fat women no matter how nice they are personality wise..
The problem we have in todays society is fat acceptance and it should not be that way..no reason for any person to be fat..very unfair to their spouse if they were thin before marriage and got fat afterwards..would be serious grounds for divorce in my book.
‘very unfair to their spouse if they were thin before marriage and got fat afterwards..would be serious grounds for divorce in my book.’
My advice to you: please don’t get married or procreate until you change this attitude.
For the record, I weigh 110 pounds and am about 5 foot 4 inches tall—and although I turn 40 in about 4 more months, I get carded for buying alcohol and mistaken for my husband’s teenage daughter. That’s after four kids and 18 years of marriage. I don’t work out but have a high metabolism (I love to eat and I am a salt addict with a BP of 90/50, even when pregnant).
The thing is, when I hear—or read—comments like yours, it scares me because I have two beautiful daughters, ages 14 and 8. Your comment tells me that a guy won’t give them the time of day (when they are dating age) if they don’t look like supermodels or work out every day. Neither one of them is overweight, and as much of a struggle it is to get kids to eat right, they do a pretty good job of eating their fruits and veggies. They get out and play outside a lot, since we live in a rural area with lots of neighbor kids.
My husband definitely doesn’t weigh what he did when we got married. I believe some of it in his case is genetic. He spent almost a decade driving boats for the Navy SEALS and it beat the hell out of his joints, his back, and his knees. Since his discharge, he has put on a good amount of weight, and he struggles with it. But just to be clear, my husband is not a lazy man. He has never been unemployed since he was a teenager. Sometimes he has worked 2 or more jobs. After his Navy service, he worked a full-time job and went to engineering school, pulling down close to a 4.0 GPA. That was with a wife, three kids, and a house and land to take care of. Today, we live on two acres and in an older house that requires some upkeep—we had a large garden this year. He keeps up with his job, the house and yardwork, his duties as a Cub Scout leader, activity in our parish, helping the kids with homework and spending time with them, and being a fantastic husband. He also had to spend a lot of time the last few months helping care for his parents’ home after his dad had open-heart surgery in July (and they live 4.5 hours away).
He is not sitting in his recliner full-time drinking beer and watching sports. So yes, he’s gained weight, but he is aware of that fact. He’s still a good husband, father, and person. I’m not divorcing him just because of his weight. I don’t recall ‘till death do us part unless you put on some pounds.’ (BTW, he is a FReeper if you want to tell him how you feel about ‘chubby’ people.)
I’ll give you a hint, since it’s obvious you’ve never been married. Looks fade—I’ve got some grey hairs I didn’t have when we got married in 1995. I have stretch marks from bringing four human beings into the world. However, I would hope that I am a better person than I was 18 years ago, even if my looks aren’t the same. My husband may not be 190 lbs anymore (he’s 6’3”), but he still makes me laugh like no else does, he treats me like a man should treat a woman, and he’s put up with a lot of my ‘stuff’ in the last 18 years.
I am in no way, shape, or form condoning obesity or not eating properly, although I am not a food snob or a food Nazi. I am simply saying that divorcing someone simply for gaining weight says a hell of a lot more about you than it does for the person you would divorce.
Besides, what you may think is desirable in a female is not what another man might find attractive. I’ve also noticed that I’ve met some sickly thin people and some incredibly healthy heavier people. My great-grandparents, dairy farmers in Wisconsin, ate high fat diets with lots of heavy cream, butter, and the like and lived to be in their 80s and 90s.
That's what the whole "for better or for worse" thing is about. If you can't make that kind of commitment, don't get married.