It’d be funny if it wasn’t so true.
When/where are the kids supposed to eat these snacks? In class? in the hallway? on the bus? What if they pack peanut-butter crackers and accidentally pass by some kid who’s allergic? Do they have to be Michelle-approved? Bought during lunch for later? How do you keep them from eating them at lunch instead? Who pays for the kids on free lunches? On and on ...
Just let the kids choose & eat what they want from a varied offering. It can be as healthy as you want, as long as it’s something they’ll eat (hummus & black bean salads for most elementary age kids are an instant no! simply because of the appearance). And don’t prohibit home-packed lunches. I understand the allergy concerns (my grandson is highly allergic to a lot of foods) but that can be handled by letting kids/parents know at the start of the year what is prohibited.