Sunday column ping. McScreamer in for Howie on Monday
Hello mutter, hello falter
Mumbles to give DNC delegates an earful
By Howie Carr | Sunday, September 2, 2012 | http://www.bostonherald.com | Columnists
Clint Eastwood, move over. Here comes Mumbles Menino.
What an honor — the mayor will be addressing the Democratic National Convention in Charlotte on Wednesday. OK, so it’s not exactly prime time — 5 p.m. — but thank God for C-SPAN, because we’ll be able to record everything.
You can bet Hizzoner will be “splinkin’ ” from the heart. “I’m great to be here,” the “ionic” mayor will say. You don’t hear many politicians anymore who use “youse” as the plural of you, or who begin sentences, “So I says.” Stand by Charlotte. Here comes Mumbles.
But first there’s tomorrow’s Labor Day breakfast at the Copley Plaza here in Boston. All the corpulent pinky-ring thugs will be assembled. Also there will be Granny Warren, who is desperate to get Mumbles’ machine in her corner for the Nov. 6 showdown against Scott Brown.
Two years ago, GOP candidate for auditor Mary Z. Connaughton had a 40,000-vote lead. But Suzanne Bump won the election by rolling up a 95,000-vote margin in Boston, compliments of Mumbles.
That’s why Scott Brown goes out of his way to never say a bad word about Mumbles, not even after the Chick-fil-A fiasco. Brown dreams of at least keeping the mayor on the sidelines. Hopes burns eternal, as Mumbles would say.
This Wednesday night speech is another part of the campaign to get Mumbles on board for the fake Indian. He’s only slotted for five minutes, but that should be enough to get the delegates’ attention.
What a story Mumbles has to tell, about “Boston, Massachusetts, 375 years and making.”
It’s a “tight-night community,” and you can go to “any neighborhood in the Boston.” For almost 20 years now, Mumbles has been “tryin’ to bridge the grap” between various groups, and “they’ve done a great job of many different ways.”
As Mumbles continues speaking, heads will begin to turn. Who is this man? What language is he speaking? What’s up with his tongue? Where did he go to college?
“UMass of I am alumnus.”
He’s not just a street-corner ward heeler, he’s a philosopher, a deep thinker.
“When you’re elected, people elect you to make decisions. ... It will take all of us together to turn around the sistuation.”
In the old days, when a eloquent statesman delivered the kind of barn-burner we all be expectin’ from da Mayah on Wednesday, sometimes the mesmerized delegates would suddenly stampede the podium, quickly making up signs demanding that he be added to the ticket. But Mumbles already has made one thing clear.
“I will not be a candidation I’ll seek but I will accept a draft.”
Perhaps Mumbles can be pressed into service later, during prime time. He’s quite experienced at doing introductions — “Let me induce our senior senator.”
Mumbles will be returning to Boston right after the speech, I’m sure. Thursday is primary day, and he must be in the city to make sure the votes are turned out for Sal Lamattina and whoever else he’s pushing.
And when the votes are all counted in Boston on Thursday night, he will be able to say, as he has said in the past:
“I have did my duty.”
Article URL: http://www.bostonherald.com/news/columnists/view.bg?articleid=1061157327
Re: Howie.
My mother always said if you can’t say anything nice about somebody, don’t say anything at all.
Sorry, Mom, but here goes.
Look up “chutzpah” and you’ll see Howie’s picture in the definition.
Everything he says about Mumbles is spot on, and funny too.
But has Howie ever listened to a tape of his own pontifications? He cannot complete a thought, let alone the show’s telephone number. He’s the poster boy for Attention Deficit Disorder.
Howie is a loveable little fuzzball in his own right, but he cannot string together two thoughts while talking.
He is a great columnist, but Fumbles should not be criticizing Mumbles.