[whattajoke]

Weigh a thought for us

While we do often use the phrase, "heavy thoughts," there is no way to measure the mass or weight of "thoughts." However, I'm confident in saying thoughts have no weight or mass.

Check the volume of a dream

I don't know if you want to measure the unit volume or the number of decibels of a dream. I'm confident in saying dreams have no measurable volume as a unit of size, despite the colloquialism that some people "dream big." Your inability parse cutesy paradigms and mathematical measurement makes me sad.

However, dreams often do cause people to mumble, talk or even shout. This range is about 30Db to maybe 75Db for especially loud dreamers.

Measure the length of desire

The average length of a human male's erect desire is between 5 and 6 inches, depending on your measurement technique. If that's not what you meant, and you were trying to be poetic because we often say "she has a lot of desire," then your inability to parse euphemism from what can actually be measured in a meaningful way makes me sad.

smartass... asshat... fool

Slanders the sentient adult who believes, apparently, that snakes can hold conversations with humans. What WON'T you folks believe?!

[MHGinTN]

Wandered in here from Darwin Central did ya? Pick up after yourself, fool, you’re dropping straw and herring all over the place.