Posted on 08/20/2012 12:19:27 AM PDT by grundle
DIVORCE AGREEMENT– By flasawdust August 10, 2012
DIVORCE AGREEMENT–
WRITTEN BY YOUNG COLLEGE STUDENT–
The person who wrote this is a college student. Perhaps there is hope for us after all.
DIVORCE AGREEMENT
THIS IS SO INCREDIBLY WELL PUT AND I CAN HARDLY BELIEVE IT’S BY A YOUNG PERSON, A STUDENT!!! WHATEVER HE RUNS FOR, I’LL VOTE FOR HIM.
Dear American liberals, leftists, social progressives, socialists, Marxists and Obama supporters, et al: We have stuck together since the late 1950′s for the sake of the kids, but the whole of this latest election process has made me realize that I want a divorce. I know we tolerated each other for many years for the sake of future generations, but sadly, this relationship has clearly run its course.
Our two ideological sides of America cannot and will not ever agree on what is right for us all, so let’s just end it on friendly terms. We can smile and chalk it up to irreconcilable differences and go our own
way.
Here is a model separation agreement:
–Our two groups can equitably divide up the country by landmass each taking a similar portion. That will be the difficult part, but I am sure our two sides can come to a friendly agreement. After that, it should be relatively easy! Our respective representatives can effortlessly divide other assets since both sides have such distinct and disparate tastes.
–We don’t like redistributive taxes so you can keep them.
–You are welcome to the liberal judges and the ACLU.
–Since you hate guns and war, we’ll take our firearms, the cops, the NRA and the military.
–We’ll take the nasty, smelly oil industry and you can go with wind, solar and biodiesel.
–You can keep Oprah, Michael Moore and Rosie O’Donnell. You are, however, responsible for finding a bio-diesel vehicle big enough to
move all three of them.
–We’ll keep capitalism, greedy corporations, pharmaceutical companies, Wal-Mart and Wall Street.
–You can have your beloved lifelong welfare dwellers, food stamps, homeless, homeboys, hippies, druggies and illegal aliens.
–We’ll keep the hot Alaskan hockey moms, greedy CEO’s and rednecks.
–We’ll keep the Bibles and give you NBC and Hollywood.
–You can make nice with Iran and Palestine and we’ll retain the right to invade and hammer places that threaten us.
–You can have the peaceniks and war protesters. When our allies or our way of life are under assault, we’ll help provide them security.
–We’ll keep our Judeo-Christian values.
–You are welcome to Islam, Scientology, Humanism, political correctness and Shirley McClain. You can also have the U.N. but we will no longer be paying the bill.
–We’ll keep the SUV’s, pickup trucks and oversized luxury cars. You can take every Volt and Leaf you can find.
–You can give everyone healthcare if you can find any practicing doctors.
–We’ll continue to believe healthcare is a luxury and not a right.
–We’ll keep “The Battle Hymn of the Republic” and “The National Anthem.”
–I’m sure you’ll be happy to substitute “Imagine”, “I’d Like to Teach the World to Sing”, “Kum Ba Ya” or “We Are the World”.
–We’ll practice trickle-down economics and you can continue to give trickle up poverty your best shot.
–Since it often so offends you, we’ll keep our history, our name and our flag.
Would you agree to this? If so, please pass it along to other like-minded liberal and conservative patriots and if you do not agree, just hit delete. In the spirit of friendly parting, I’ll bet you answer which one of us will need whose help in 15 years.
Sincerely, John J. Wall Law Student and an American
P.S. Also, please take Ted Turner, Sean Penn, Martin & Charlie Sheen, Barbara Streisand, & ( Hanoi ) Jane Fonda with you.
P.S.S. And you won’t have to press 1 for English when you call our country.
–We’ll continue to believe healthcare is a luxury and not a right.
-We'll continue to believe that healthcare is a personal responsibility and not a right.
Other than that, when can we get started?
“PSS”
Shouldn’t that be PPS-(Post Post Script)?
Give ‘em EAST ST. LOUIS, IL....NOTHING snd i mean NOTHING..could make e.st. louis a worse place to live...well maybe a new load of libs might...but not MUCH worse....
No, not secession, expulsion.
There is nothing wrong with the Constitution - with a little renovation it will be fine.
It’s the moonbats that are the problem.
Let them leave and set up their own country if they are so disaffected by this one.
I’m not willing to give them any quarter. If they wish to continue this march towards tyranny, the “talking” will soon be replaced by something more painful.
In other words, once we have exhausted our options under the first amendment...
You can figure it out from there.
Remember that at the conclusion of the Revolution, those loyal to the king were shown the door.
We should be doing the same thing.
Either accept the Constitution as the supreme law of the land or get out.
Great then we can enforce this agreement using my “Voter ID Card Economy”. When you go to purchase something you may or may not be able to depending on the “R” or “D” on your card.
I love the map too, except for one little thing....the Florida Keys.
We’ll have to organize an invasion force. A hundred good ole boys from north Florida should to do it. I don’t think the rainbow army will offer much resistance.
While we're at it, we might as well nap Napa and Somoma counties, too.
Sparks an idea. If people can be made to pay a tax for not buying medical insurance, let’s make ‘em pay a NONproperty tax. If you don’t buy property you have to pay a tax, or one of those “taxfines”. After all, you non property tax payers, your kids use the schools too. (I am joking of course).
The real problem is we are tipping to become a slight minority and it will probably snowball in time. Secession could be mutual......sortof like a big National Divorce.
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