He may have to borrow some tape from Glenn Beck
Beck: Have some Tape Comrade Jones!
Alex: Thanks Glenn what do I do with it?
Beck: Wrap it around your head so this doesn't happen...
We all know that conspiracies are altogether impossible and completely imaginary. There has never even been one conspiracy to take over a government in the entire history of the world. Even if in our wildest imaginations there ever could be a conspiracy, we know that one could definitely never take place in the USA.