I like your sense of humor. Did you grow up in Baltimore and leave?
No Officer, If I grew up at all it was in Maine and New York, and went to college in CT. I loved Western Maryland, which has to be the remotest place near anywhere. I commuted to DC a few days a month, before retiring.
But I do actually (or did) also love Balmer. It was as fascinating as a dirty magazine in the olden days and I looked forward to my clandestine trips to visit Uncle Dutch. Best day to be in Balmer? 4th of July, on a boat rafted in the Inner Harbor for the Fireworks ... best in the world!