Bill Maher mocks teenage Republicans (Libtard AssHat just can't, No, won't shut-up!)

SFGate.com ^ | 6/25/12 | Rachel Reed

[NormsRevenge]

Go get him, Young 'uns.. but be kind, he's seriesly ill-minded, too much abuse or sumthin', drugs or from smacking his head on the bottom of the desk drawer in the Oval Orifice.

[freekitty]

There is a mental health room being held for you Bill.

[formosa]

Maybe Cher can recruit him into her revolution and we can be rid of both of them at once. Bring it on!!!

[MuttTheHoople]

There’d be liberal teenage talk-show hosts, but they were all aborted.

[mkjessup]

One day, Bill Maher will be found dead in a sleazy motel room, with some sort bizarre, stainless steel industrial vibrator lodged in his rectum, still pulsating, his hand clutching his cellphone, the display reading ‘no carrier’, with a half empty bottle of Dom Perignon still chilled in the filthy bathroom, ice poured into the chipped ceramic sink, and rats desperately trying to climb up the bottle neck in hopes of enjoying a drop or two of the bubbly. Maher’s dead eyes stare out of their sunken sockets, pretty much the way he used to appear on TV, his smirking grin now replaced with an agonized grimace of death on his ugly mug.

Yes, it was a dark and stormy night ...

[Gay State Conservative]

I’ll wager that there’s a long smoldering case of syphilis at play here.

[jivin gene]

Careful, Billy boy. Caiden fights like a girl. You can only pee like one.

[Gay State Conservative]

Substitute “with a half empty bag of Mexican tar heroin” and I’ll go along with that.

[Lurker]

That’s some damned fine writing right there my friend.

[Viking2002]

Oh, man, make Chapter Two about Michael Moore, and I'm buying your book!

"As democracy is perfected, the office represents, more and more closely, the inner soul of the people. We move toward a lofty ideal. On some great and glorious day the plain folks of the land will reach their hearts desire at last, and the White House will be adorned by a downright moron."

--H.L. Mencken, The Baltimore Evening Sun, July 26, 1920

[Pontiac]

Bump for Later

[cricket]

Love always, the moniker 'libtard'' for these useful idiots - who so imagine their intelligence is beyond the reach of Conservatives - and other mortals.This needle digs deep and so accurately nails these self-addicted, self-loving, hypocritical jerks - yes, even better - aka asshats. They HATE such ascriptions. - and find them, no laughing matter. This should be standard referencing, if not already...

[cricket]

Dark, stormy night. . .works for the worst of Bill Maher. . .Could so easily be a working last script for Maher.

[Gertie]

Right on, beautiful. Also, one must remember that being critized by “little bill maher” is a feather in your cap.

[Gabz]

Who is the Bill Maher character?

[mkjessup]

Well gosh FRiends, I never expected that sort of praise and I thank you sincerely for it.

Let me see what I can do here as we approach Midnight Eastern Time ...

"Sheriff Joe gave the signal to kick in the door of the motel room next door to where the now decaying body of the late Bill Maher had been found, and BAM!, Deputies of the Cold Case Posse found themselves facing what had to be one of the most frightening and disgusting sights ever to be seen by any law enforcement agent:

Illuminated only by the sputtering fluorescent bulbs hanging loosely from the sputum spattered mirror of an old 50's style oak dresser, were two more bodies, corpulent from both their obesity and the post mortem swelling of their flacid extremities, and what made the sad tableau even more nauseating were both the identities and the positions of the bodies, yes one was indeed that of the fraudulent wannabe man-of-the-people cinematographer, the late Michael Moore, appearing to have put on at least another 100 lbs before his date with the Grim Reaper, his hands and forearms were stained with the bright orange cheese dust found only with genuine Frito-Lay(c) Cheetos, and a large 3 gallon tub of the popular snack food sat half empty between Moore's grotesque and rotting thighs...

...Sheriff Joe, walking solemnly into the putrid little room, saw his seasoned investigators cringing and trying to avert their gazes, and he could see why: not only was there an empty syringe jammed into Moore's arm, there was another syringe poking out from the vein of the elbow of the body next to Moore, not quite equally rotund as the fat Michigan faker, but certainly just as offensive in death as she had been in life, it was the former head of the Department of Homeland Security herself, Janet Incompetentano, her carefully coiffed hair now pointed in all directions, highlighted by what at first appeared to be sparkles, but was in fact the same Cheetos dust coating Michael Moore's hands and arms, one hardened veteran investigator gasped in pure terror, "oh my GOD, those two were actually..." his voice trailing off, Sheriff Joe nodded grimly and said "Yep, no more boom-boom for Madame Fatso, that's for damn sure" and as they turned the doorknob of the bathroom door, they found themselves all shocked even beyond their most nightmarish expectations, as they found...

...the former Attorney General, yes, Eric Witholder, in obscene clown greasepaint, barely alive, with shallow breaths, clutching a stained file folder marked 'F&F Accounts Receivables', and inside? An unsealed plastic bag which was immediately recognized by the narcotics specialists as 'Mexican tar heroin', Sheriff Joe grabbed the half alive former 0bama official by the lapels and said "you better talk fast, and you better tell the truth, because you're not long for this world", and in half babbles, the mustachioed maniac said "It was a drug running operation! The Mexicans let this tar heroin walk into America, so we could trace where it goes, and find out what veins it got injected into! It was a perfectly planned investigation!" his voice trailing off into incoherence and muttered refrains from a Coco Puffs cartoon commercial, Sheriff Joe let out a deep breath and said "well you silly bastard, you managed to trace that smack right into the veins of three more people, two in the next room, and that dead excuse for a talk show host next door."

The sun was starting to rise as Sheriff Joe and his investigators finally began to finish up at the crime scene, an early morning rain mercifully began to pour down on the dilapidated little 'Lil' Imgrant Motel', the Sheriff said "we've got all we need here, open the windows and leave the doors open, Mother Nature will do a better job of cleaning up this crap than 100 illegal janitors."

He turned to Chuck Norris, who said "THIS has been a helluva night!"

~ finis

[stockpirate]

I really would like you Ann Coulture fans on FR to defend her concerning the fact she dated the clown for quite a while. And just why a conservative would lower herself to date a communist like him, unless of course she is not a conservative.

[Viking2002]

You take PayPal?

"As democracy is perfected, the office represents, more and more closely, the inner soul of the people. We move toward a lofty ideal. On some great and glorious day the plain folks of the land will reach their hearts desire at last, and the White House will be adorned by a downright moron."

--H.L. Mencken, The Baltimore Evening Sun, July 26, 1920

[Sivad]

Yah, “libtard” is a neat word and I have used it myself. However,
if you think about it the last part is an archaic expression which
is now considered an insult to those born with certain challenges.
To add “lib” to the front end is like doubling down on the insult.
I may reconsider my personal use of the term.

[mkjessup]

Thank you my FRiend, to you and all of my esteemed fellow FReepers, my upcoming book will be provided gratis in eBook form. ;)