Permit me to suggest you take some of that loot you got a way back when for the Nobel Prize and invest in these.
They are Genuine, Heavy-Duty, Scuff-Proof, and Stain-Resistant "Monicas"™ and will last much longer than those you use now which have to be replaced at least once a week, considering how often you get on your knees and perform "Lewinskis" on you Dear Leader:
