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HOW TO IMPRESS THE GIRLS

Barack Obama was walking along the beach on the French Riviera last summer. As usual, his wife and children were vacationing somewhere else.

There are many beautiful women lying in the sun, and he really wants to meet one in order to find out ... if he really liked women.

But try as he might, the women don’t seem to be at all interested. Finally, as a last resort, he walks up to President Sarkozy lying on the beach and surrounded by adoring women.

“Excuse me,” he says, taking him aside, “but I’ve been trying to meet one of those women for about an hour now, and I just can’t seem to get anywhere with them. You’re French. You know these women. What do they want?”

“Maybee I can help a leetle beet,” he replies. “What you do ees you go to zee store. You buy a leetle bikini sweeming suit. You walk up and down zee beach. You meet girl very qweekly zees way.”

“Wow! Thanks!” and off he goes to the store. He buys a skimpy red bathing suit, puts it on, and goes back to the beach. He parades up and down the beach but still has no luck with the ladies. So he goes back to Sarkozy.

“I’m sorry to bother you again,” he says, “but I went to the store, I got a swimsuit, and I still haven’t been able to meet a girl.”

“Okay, I tell you what you do. You go to zee store. You buy potato. You put potato in sweeming suit and walk up and down zee beach. You will meet girl very, very qweekly zees way.”

“Thanks!” says Barry, and runs off to the store. He buys the potato, puts it in the swimsuit, and marches up and down the beach. Up and down, up and down he walks, but the women will hardly even look at him.

After half an hour he can’t take it anymore and goes back to his host. “Look,” he says, “I got the suit, I put the potato in it, and I walked up and down the beach, and still nothing! What more can I do?”

“Well,” says Sarkozy, “maybe I can help you a leetle beet. Why don’t you try moving zee potato to the front of zee sweeming suit?”